The last time I was at work, just before my last class of the last day before Spring Break, I got the call that set up today's court appointment for my adoption of Kody. I was so tearful over the news that I blabbed to my one student present in that last very self-contained class during that beautiful weather of that glorious culmination of two straight months with zero breaks even for 2 "Nor'easterns", parent-teacher conferences, and another working Saint Patty's Day - (when will we stop persecuting the Irish???) - but after coming home and telling Kody about it, I just stopped caring. I didn't really give it much more thought all vacation. My kid made me realize this is like the paperwork part of a marriage ceremony. The real important part is in saying "I do". And, well, I already did. For better or worse, I'd signed to at least be second in his life for a little while.
So, this morning, in trying to get two kids dressed and ready in time after a week and a half of learning to sleep late (7a), a still-sick wife hacking up a lung every time I talk to her showered, medicated, and ready, and a grandma's notorious logic which mandates her to emerge late after being called early to walk in the opposite direction of the car for a half block just to discard the three tissues she used this morning in a plastic "Have a nice day" bag due to a commitment of immediate use of a dumpster, even though she knows you're in a rush and asked her to meet you at the street specifically in the interest of time saving. The first time I even got a hand free to completely button my own shirt was after I'd stopped at the mailbox!
All that was subconscious over zealousness though which I only realized after going out to put more money in the one-hour-limited-meter and finding "Meter expired" parking ticket next to my clearly displayed 15-more-minutes-time-allotted-parking-tag, after waiting 45 minutes in a room with a window, a few chairs and cold radiator/awesome balance beam that my kids weren't allowed near according to the child expert/security guard busily reading his newspaper. (Apparently there may be something "pointy" my kid could get hurt on).
Finally, we were allowed in to sign some papers that took 4 1/2 years to gather, 2 1/2 minutes to complete, and Kody is now "mine" - in all states.
Walking briskly back to the car in fear of a random tow, I carried Kody in silence. He'd chosen me to carry him today and I was the hug recipient of his affections all morning. Lips pressed against his ear I had little to actually say. I thought of how heavy he'd gotten since those first glorious moments I'd held him in life. I thought of the night we made him. I thought of the prayer circles we'd held to call him to us. I thought of how incredible it felt to have his arms grasping me in this street and I thought of how happy and fulfilled he's made my life already.
As soon as Amy and I were alone again in the car she said "So? Feel any different?"
"Nope." Truth is, I don't. I'm always this happy.
Makes ya wonder, no?
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