Letting them know they can be anything they want to be

   One of my son's favorite things to do is to grab a bunch of small stuffed animals, tuck them inside his shirt, and then ask one of us to pull them out gently while he commences regular rhythmic breathing (i.e. "Hee hee hee whooo... Hee hee hee whooo...")

   "Why do you like to pretend to give birth so much?"

   "Well because I want to be a woman."

   "I see.  [This after the fit he had the other day to cut his hair to 'be a boy'] ...and do you think giving birth is the best part about being a woman?"

   "Yes."

   "Don't you know you can be anything you want to be?"

   "I can't make a baby."

   "What if I showed you a man who got pregnant?"  [I show him a picture of Thomas Beatie.]

   His eyes widen.  "That's... so... cool!"

   "I tell ya Kody, you'd make an incredible woman.  And I don't say that to a lot of men!"

Is 40 a new adolescence?

I hated being a teenager.  I pretty much hated everything passed the ripe-old thinking/reasoned 7.  I just hated to watch as life chipped away at the illusion of invincibility all around me.  People died.  I realized I was going to die.  I watched others disintegrate in the wakes, and still others day in and day out trudged their way off to jobs I couldn't imagine any of them wanting when they were children.

   I mean on one hand, being a teenager was great in that it has a certain euphoria.  First love, first kiss, coming out, first time away in your own - all very potent, horrifying but intense feelings!  Life somehow becomes worth living when you add a little dash of high drama.

   Things changed pretty drastically from 19 to 20.  Maybe it's the embrace of a new decade in life but I remember marveling in the almost overnight perspective shift.  I stopped doing things other people's way and while I don't currently subscribe to every philosophy I embraced then, just the declaration of independence was enough.  

   Maybe that same shift will occur at 50?  I imagine I'll be looking ahead to retirement by then.  The true duration of a decade will be apparent and it would be nice to be done with the banal.  If I make it that is.

   But 40 is an age where I hear about people dying a bit more often ...and with a little less hoopla about it.  I don't think even 50 is so common as at 40 the complications seem more severe.  By the time you've made it to 50, I think your constitution has been adequately tested.  Even a heart attack is less likely to be fatal.  It's just hard that once I sort of came to terms with the reality that I've lived this long, I have to face that statistically dwindling positivity.

   So there it is.  Feels like 40 is a new adolescence.  I'm scared and emotional again, more appreciative than I ever have been in my life as well as more in control (or just more aware of what isn't in my control).  Looks to me like another 10 years of high drama are in store.  Hopefully, there will be more high than low (but not that kind because who needs the headaches!)  I do have little bit more faith and wisdom now than I did before embarking on my teen years.  Well, a very little bit.