My Wife's Big Mouth

   Just in case we were wavering in our decision to move to Mineola, NY today the universe provided provided some insight into that decision.  Even after the years (almost decades) of being with my wife, she still occasionally shocks me.

   Lounging around the park with the kids after an open house today, we were discussing the pros and cons of this decision and happened to be amidst a group of teenagers when one boy calls another the dreaded "f" word.  Without missing a beat my wife launches into a very loud conversation that she hoped that kind of language wasn't typical of the area.  I'm not certain her passive aggressiveness registered because a similar slur erupted within a few minutes.  This launched my wife out of her seat to announce her objections of the local vocabulary as well as our sensitive statuses as lesbian moms.  I found myself braced and frozen on my bench trying not to be obvious about my interest in the expressions these events would incite not just on the phobic teenagers but also on the young couple we'd been sharing this play set with for the past 5 formerly quiet minutes.  Turns out there was no objection made either by that couple (at least toward us) nor the mess of teenagers we were amongst - at least not right away.  It was a park and there was a fair going on, so there was an ebb and flow as people going and coming on their respective ways but amongst the chatter there arose a voice of one teen objection.  He was passing the few teens who had originally committed the infraction and who were now hurriedly leaving the park.  It was a lower conversational tone at first and then rose into obvious proud projection.  He was reminding someone of the need to "watch your mouth in public" and reprimanding them for not thinking before they speak.  He was defending us.
I'm ashamed to say that it was only at this point that I turned around to really face this neighborhood as the out and "proud" lesbian mom I have come to - aspire to be.  My wife, already facing them, thanked them and expressed appreciation for the young man's maturity.  The kid went even farther to say the exact thing we were so grateful to hear.  "Those kids are not representative of this community."
   What followed was a wash of young teenage girls in this young man's wake all smiling and commenting in how cute our boys were.  As they passed I searched their faces for any hint of sarcasm.  And I didn't find any.  I actually saw only genuine sincerity, even a certain empathy for us.  Even later, talking to some other families, our sexuality never even came out and yet had to be obvious.  Not a flicker of reserve.  No acceptance requested nor granted.  Nothing about that label even seemed to require energy.  Just commonalities (schools, houses, mortgage interest rates, etc.).
   'I guess we could live here' I thought.  Even with my wife's big mouth.  Lol.  I love you Honey!

Recommendation Letter

To whom it may concern:

   I just spent the better part of my day gathering forms and getting signatures notarized for my wife to adopt our son, Niky.  I can't help but find it odd that for all these testimonials to her health, and her job, all her papers and recommendations, - nobody anywhere asks for my opinion.  I have friends going through what we're going through today.  I have family devoted to proving themselves contributors to our cause.  But even they - with all their good intentions and noble efforts - often just don't really get it.
   My wife, Amy, is a doting mother, a fierce advocate, and highly intelligent instructor capable of facilitating the most productively fun, memorable days of all our lives as well as the lives of her lucky students.  She is the fuel my family runs on.  She is the director of the way things go.  She is never too proud to stand up for what is essential and important no matter what the personal effort or cost.
   As for "adopting" Niky, she was there the day Nikkan was born - seconds after he was ripped from me in an emergency C section, I was helpless as they shuffled him off to NICU for some elusive fluid drain.  Laying there trying to wiggle life back into my limbs, I was left to ponder all the plans I'd made that had been abandoned in minutes - between natural child birth, cord blood retrieval, instant breastfeeding... something had gone awry.
   It was my wife, Amy, - Ema as our kids have come to call her - who immediately took off after Niky, stood by his side, demanded no pacifier be given him least he should waste important early precious energy on nonsense and pumped her own breast milk for him to be nourished when there was sudden talk of our dreaded "F" word.  She was the one who calmed me down, who got us a private room, and who saw to it I was allowed to hold Nikkan just as soon as I was able to land myself in that wheelchair to get to him even when the hospital policy said "No" and the nurses said he had to remain immobilized.  She was the only familiar voice he heard for those first few terrifying hours of hurried hands, cold, and lights.  She was the first one to tell him she loved him - who marveled at his beautiful trembling lips.
   Amy left us that night (just as I had to Kody's first night) but she's been there every night and day since we came home.  She nursed me through my recovery, took on half the breastfeeding, cooked, worked, taught, played, snuggled, disciplined, laughed, and hugged him every day since.  She's more than a wife or a husband.  She is a mother.
   Maybe it's because we had to elope when we actually married that I don't feel like I get the opportunity to say this enough publicly, but Amy is the perfect wife.  She's my best friend and often my most diligent competitor.  She's always my sweetest comfort, strongest knight, and funniest comedic relief.  And just as she supported, challenged, and molded us into the most euphoric zone of my existence, I know she'll do the same for our Takoda and Nikkan.  Amy is one choice I made in our lives that created the best of mine.
   So yes, I highly recommend Ms. Amy Roth[lizzi], Ema, my incredible wife, for the position of "Adoptive mother" to our son, Nikkan Liam Rothlizzi, - not that anyone asked but just in case anybody was wondering.
   Sincerely.