The fourth insight is called “The Struggle for Power.” It describes four ways humans vie for this energy (aka power). We seek power in every moment and instinctively learn how to capture and control it generally using one of four ways: intimidation, interrogation, aloofness, and pity or what Redfield calls being a “poor me.”
Now I have divulged that I can sometimes see this energy, but I can't always and I totally understand those who might doubt this. But seeing the energy is not even necessary to understand it and to follow the mechanics.
My feminist Women Studies background from college inclines me to think of these negotiation efforts as our means to either take power from or lend power to. This is often dichotomized as a more masculinized “take charge” method to control juxtaposed to a more feminine supportive tendency to empower that most of us in the modern Western world are pretty familiar with.
It’s easy to see these cries for attention in others. The funniest part of dissecting this phenomenon the eventual realization that its as ubiquitous as it is moot. When it comes down to it, you learn about this and you start scrambling for the appropriate way to respond - but remember to consider that when someone is asking for your attention, why not give it to them? The fact of the matter is that attention is free and these days we practically sell it off to algorithms and AI. When we really need it most desperately from each other. What justifiably takes precedence over that?
My feminist Women Studies background from college inclines me to think of these negotiation efforts as our means to either take power from or lend power to. This is often dichotomized as a more masculinized “take charge” method to control juxtaposed to a more feminine supportive tendency to empower that most of us in the modern Western world are pretty familiar with.
It’s easy to see these cries for attention in others. The funniest part of dissecting this phenomenon the eventual realization that its as ubiquitous as it is moot. When it comes down to it, you learn about this and you start scrambling for the appropriate way to respond - but remember to consider that when someone is asking for your attention, why not give it to them? The fact of the matter is that attention is free and these days we practically sell it off to algorithms and AI. When we really need it most desperately from each other. What justifiably takes precedence over that?
After a bit, it becomes easy to see these manipulations in our own behavior. But if you question whether you use these methods, or if you believe that you don’t, I strongly suggest that you ponder each moment a little bit longer. Catch yourself in a moment and evaluate your mood. Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you conscious? If you are not in the present, you are likely unconscious. You are likely in your own head, or feelings, or reacting to some outside stimuli. Are you scared? Are you trusting the universe? Are you still coming from a good place?
Knowing these four manipulations of power can help you defend yourself from them in that all you usually need to do is identify them. It’s almost like calling out that the spirit of God can compel you! But if a person is vying for pity, maybe you can find a way to help them find a more sustainable path? If they are being aloof, simply tell them. Show them by example that you can put yourself and your needs out there safely and survive. Give them your attention for what they’re doing, but also move on. Interrogators are already interacting so know your boundaries. Make sure you are confident about them and then express them in no uncertain terms so that they are not crossed. And intimidators? Simply ask them why they need you to be subservient to them. “Who hurt you?” - is often a good start. A student blurted this out to me once at a moment I was acting without true presence or love and I never forgot it as a perfectly disarming technique.
Knowing these four manipulations of power can help you defend yourself from them in that all you usually need to do is identify them. It’s almost like calling out that the spirit of God can compel you! But if a person is vying for pity, maybe you can find a way to help them find a more sustainable path? If they are being aloof, simply tell them. Show them by example that you can put yourself and your needs out there safely and survive. Give them your attention for what they’re doing, but also move on. Interrogators are already interacting so know your boundaries. Make sure you are confident about them and then express them in no uncertain terms so that they are not crossed. And intimidators? Simply ask them why they need you to be subservient to them. “Who hurt you?” - is often a good start. A student blurted this out to me once at a moment I was acting without true presence or love and I never forgot it as a perfectly disarming technique.
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