“WOMAN!” I call out to my wife in the other room.
“Stop calling her that.” My woke son responds.
“What’s wrong with calling her a woman?”
“You’re being misogynistic.”
I blink for a moment, a bit stunned. “You don’t object when I call you a man?”
“You don’t call me a man.”
“You’ve never heard me say `Hey man?’ You don’t even notice, do you? I wonder why.”
[He appears to be rethinking his position]. “Oh yeah, I guess you do. Well that’s sexist.”
“Maybe. It’s called `The Universal He.’ See we normalize the masculinization of everything - at least everything positive and that positions us - women - as what’s called ‘The Other’ or something not positive.”
“Yeah but she has a name ya know!”
“I know she has a name. She’s my wife. And I would understand if there was some doubt that I knew her name there might be some reason to construe this as misogynistic or sexist but I have to say, I think your critique is touch misplaced. You’re acting like she’s offended by me. Truthfully, it’s not your place because I know she’s not.”
“Oh I get it, I’m mansplaining.”
“You are.”
“But why is it that every time a man explains something it’s mansplaining.”
“It’s not. It’s just when a man thinks he’s explaining something that a woman already knows, or is better positioned to understand, that’s mansplaining.”
“I can’t win.”
“Sure you can Kody. All you have to do is venture out to the world knowing that you don’t always know everything, and listen. You do that and you’ll be light years ahead of most other white guys I know. It’s the burden of your current social location.”
“Hey mom,” he says with a mischievous grin. “Aren’t you ...womansplaining?”
“I hope so my good man. I hope so.”
I struggle with the "universal HE". I call everyone dude, regardless of gender. Sometimes I do wonder if that is ever taken offensively. I have yet to have someone call me out on it, but that doesn't mean anything. People are offended all the time, only a fraction speak out. Perhaps I should consider dropping the "dude" from my everyday usage, as well as "man"...
ReplyDeleteIt’s true about the “Dude” and the fraction who will speak out. If I think about it I’ll use “Folks” or “Friends” in public or on paper. I knew a teacher once who used “Beautiful People” and have tried to adopt that one as much as possible. My favorite is “Lady” but I’ve felt myself cringe if used for a straight male. I think my unconscious goto is generally “Guys” though. Not proud of it.
ReplyDeleteI love the "beautiful people" sentiment, but aesthetically can't be used too much in one sitting. "Folks" is a great one that I also use occasionally.
ReplyDelete