The fourth insight is called “The Struggle for Power.” It describes four ways humans vie for this energy (aka power). We seek power in every moment and instinctively learn how to capture and control it using one of four ways: intimidation, interrogation, aloofness, and pity or what Redfield calls being a “poor me.”
Now I have divulged that I can sometimes see this energy, but I can't always and I totally understand those who might doubt this. But seeing the energy is not even necessary to understand and follow the mechanics.
My feminist Women Studies background from college inclines me to think of these negotiation efforts as our means to either take power from or lend power to. There is a more masculinized method of control juxtaposed to a more feminine tendency to empower that most of us in the Western world are familiar with.
It’s easy to see these cries for attention in others. The funniest part of dissecting this phenomenon is to realize that when it come down to it, should you come across someone trying to get your attention, why not give it to them? The fact of the matter is that attention is free and these days we practically sell it off to algorithms and AI. When we need it from each other - what take precedence over that? Sometimes, it’s even easy to see these manipulations in our own behavior. But if you question whether you use these methods, or if you believe that you don’t, I strongly suggest that you ponder each moment a little bit longer. Catch yourself in a moment and evaluate your mood. Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you conscious? If you are not in the present, you are likely unconscious. You are likely in your own head, or feelings, or reacting to some outside stimuli. Are you scared? Are you trusting the universe? Are you still coming from a good place?
Knowing these four manipulations of power can help you defend yourself from them in that all you usually need to do is identify them. It’s almost like calling out that the spirit of God can compel you! But if a person is vying for pity, maybe you can find a way to help them find a more sustainable path? If they are being aloof, simply tell them. Give them your attention for what they’re doing but move on. Interrogators are already interacting so know your boundaries. Make sure you are confident about them and then express them in no uncertain terms so that they are not crossed. And intimidators? Simply ask them why they need you to be subservient to them. “Who hurt you?” - is often a good start. A student blurted this out to me once and I never forgot it as a perfectly disarming technique.
My feminist Women Studies background from college inclines me to think of these negotiation efforts as our means to either take power from or lend power to. There is a more masculinized method of control juxtaposed to a more feminine tendency to empower that most of us in the Western world are familiar with.
It’s easy to see these cries for attention in others. The funniest part of dissecting this phenomenon is to realize that when it come down to it, should you come across someone trying to get your attention, why not give it to them? The fact of the matter is that attention is free and these days we practically sell it off to algorithms and AI. When we need it from each other - what take precedence over that? Sometimes, it’s even easy to see these manipulations in our own behavior. But if you question whether you use these methods, or if you believe that you don’t, I strongly suggest that you ponder each moment a little bit longer. Catch yourself in a moment and evaluate your mood. Are you happy? Are you sad? Are you conscious? If you are not in the present, you are likely unconscious. You are likely in your own head, or feelings, or reacting to some outside stimuli. Are you scared? Are you trusting the universe? Are you still coming from a good place?
Knowing these four manipulations of power can help you defend yourself from them in that all you usually need to do is identify them. It’s almost like calling out that the spirit of God can compel you! But if a person is vying for pity, maybe you can find a way to help them find a more sustainable path? If they are being aloof, simply tell them. Give them your attention for what they’re doing but move on. Interrogators are already interacting so know your boundaries. Make sure you are confident about them and then express them in no uncertain terms so that they are not crossed. And intimidators? Simply ask them why they need you to be subservient to them. “Who hurt you?” - is often a good start. A student blurted this out to me once and I never forgot it as a perfectly disarming technique.
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