Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Spare Pair

It was a difficult night.  After spending 3 weeks sifting through Kody's poop with plastic bags and nose clips (Serious Mother's Day guilt being stored up from this!) it turns out the dime he may have swallowed had not just "come out the other end" intact as hoped - or even as five pennies and a nickel (as my wife suggested might be fun).  Still we weren't prepared to be ushered into a medical laboratory today, (we thought we were just getting bug bites looked at) but our doc had suddenly deemed this immediate.  So this impromptu trip to the doctor's office had lead us here to get X rays "before closing."  

This was not a kid-friendly space and we were not prepared with kid-friendly amusements.

Already getting reprimanded for "letting" them run down the hall near radiation, and two hours of defensive blocking later, we were in overdrive trying to keep them cornered in this little 6x6 space meant to house one or maybe two X-ray patients before they get their "pictures" taken, but there were about 8 -10 people waiting, no door and lots of corners!  We were beyond obliviously exhausted at this point so we were unprepared to assess the meaning behind the disapproving glances of strangers.

Finally, Kody was at least called in for his shot.  My wife went in with him while I "relaxed" and waited outside to contained our little one, Niky.  At least we knew the end of this long night was near.

   This woman who had been eyeing my wife and I since she first spotted us co-feeding the boys (interchangeably) in the first waiting room sat very strategically between us and the view of the teenage boy she seemed to want to protect.  We'd been together a long time by now but I hadn't had room to entertain any thoughts about it.  But I guess with my wife gone a moment of uncomfortable silence had descended upon us.  She broke the silence "Do you mind telling me what's the relationship?"

I wasn't sure at first whose relationship she was questioning.  I actually assumed she meant the boys.  "They're brothers."  I exclaimed proudly.  

   "Yours?  Or..." She motioned to the next room where Amy and Kody were getting the X rays.

   "Ours."  I finally realized the difficulty as she tried to nod but couldn't seem to muster it convincingly.       

   "We're married." I explained and hoped that would land decently.
I caught the foreboding glance she shot at the tall awkward teenage boy suddenly flushed and standing next to her even though I didn't have a breast out anymore for him to hide from.  

   "He swallowed a dime" I confessed for no reason in particular.  Her face opened into an oval of concern.  (One thing all mothers have in common, is children.)  "It never came out the other end."  I continued.  "My wife thought this X ray was unnecessary but the doctor had said the word 'surgery' so I we weren't taking any chances.  I hate second guessing my wife though."  (We were a bit upset at having to get an X ray for a toddler.)

   "I'm sorry, you... co-feed?"

   Clearly, we both had our own agendas here.

   "Well yeah,” I said getting up to lift Niky over my shoulder for the umpteenth time.  "She gave birth to that one, and I gave birth to this one, but they both breastfeed."

   I felt comfortable enough now to look at them.  The teen was definitely her son.  I think I remembered her starting to block his line of sight when I was breastfeeding one of the boys.  "Did you breastfeed?"  I felt our relationship had progressed enough to warrant the question. 

   "Yes" she said.  I guessed not on demand.

   "We're trying to keep it up as long as they need."

   "Yes," she nodded.  "They do say that's best."  

   Then she added almost as an afterthought, "It's very unusual" and she motioned to us.

   "How long we're you able to keep it up?" I asked trying to bring us back to commonalities.

   "Four months" she said.  Then she appeared to go some particular place in her mind.  "I would have liked to have done more."

   "It's easier with a spare pair."  I said.    

   She looked at me, relaxed, and laughed genuinely for the first time.

I still wonder if she felt better or worse off for having spoken to me.

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